Frustrations

Hopefully this will be my first blog, I may have accidentally hit publish earlier...oops! Having looked at some of the blogs published by peers from my writing group I'm a little intimidated. I hope to get mine up to scratch over the coming weeks but I'm afraid adding links,a background and photo's is a little beyond me right now. I thought I'd start with a little catharsis, maybe next week I'll try something interesting and witty...we'll see.

I can't be alone in feeling bombarded with warnings about all we consume. The growing demand for organic, gluten free, wheat free, low salt, low sugar products is evident by the availability on supermarket shelves, and the emergence of health food stores on every high street. I noticed a household, all purpose cleaner recently, endorsed by a celebrity chef, like he does the cleaning, as 'A safer way to clean'. Had I known cleaning to be so hazardous I'd have better utilised time spent scrubbing! There is obviously a group of insecure consumers out there who fall for this stuff, people like me in fact who pay extra and play it safe. I'm an avid label reader and actively search out 'alternative' stores. I reassure myself that by avoiding restaurants where I can't trace the ingredients I am closer to controlling my toxin intake, despite a dull social life.

I did a personal inspection of my eldest daughter, Branwen's, school cantine recently. Reluctant to allow my precious child to be poisoned by food from unknown sources I insisted she had carefully selected, healthy, packed lunch. I didn't feel this was radical at all. Informed with the dangers which lurk in food I tried to be rational, nothing was denied my children, in moderation they had sweets and crisps but not everyday and not as part of a meal. I was horrified to discover my lunches had instigated bullying. Slowly it emerged that children had picked up on the fact that my daughter had carrot sticks instead of crisps and fruit instead of chocolate. Parents at the school gate had affectionately called me 'earth mother' and 'crusty hippie' to my face so what was I to expect of their children. Branwen didn't want to change schools but was eager to change to school dinners and merge with her peers. I was keen to investigate what effect Jamie Oliver's attempt to revolutionise school dinners had had. Branwen's school had recently won an award for promoting healthy eating but as yet I had seen no evidence of how. Having done my inspection I was relieved that things did seem much better than a few years ago. Reassured that meals were made on the premises with restricted salt and sugar I relented and Branwen now enjoys a warm school lunch.

There seems to be more awareness of toxins recently but the more I learn the less empowered I feel. If the warnings about what we consume are warranted why doesn't the government get more involved in raising awareness and banning certain products. It would take massive upheaval and then the public might not welcome the changes but surly measures need to be taken. I wonder will future generations look back with astonishment at how we live. Aspartame for instance has been associated with nasty side effects but it seems to be in everything. I could only find one brand of aspartame free vitamin and iron supplement for children and many prescriptive drugs contain it. Apparently food should not be stored in plastic or tin containers because they leak into the product. I have tried to avoid these 'hazards' but soon realised it isn't practical. Where do we draw the line? I have a water filter, is this necessary, shouldn't tap water be safe?


The level of my neurosis has elevated recently since embarking on a diet to reduce the level of candida in my system. I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome(C.F.S), in 2002 after a an attack of glandular fever. Since then I have been desperate to get my life back on track. I have developed various management techniques but am unable to function the way I used to. Frustrated and determined to explore all avenues which might provide a boost I embarked on a few alternative therapies. In January 2007 I began seeing homeopath, Heather Melville, who recognised that many of my symptoms could be related to candida overgrowth. Candida overgrowth is a problem often associated with low immunity and C.F.S sufferers.


Heather suggested that by starving the candida I may be able to alleviate many of my symptoms. My enthusiasm to put this to the test was soon crushed when I learned exactly what was involved. For at least the next two months I would have to deny myself indulgences which at times I felt dependent on, chocolate, wine and coffee. I was expected to abstain from all sugar and sweeteners in any form, fruit including lemons, tomatoes, mushrooms, dairy accept plain natural yogurt and cottage cheese, wheat, tea and coffee even decaffeinated, alcohol except vodka, vinegar, malt, yeast and molds, cured or smoked products, refined grains, sprouted grains and pulses, seeds and nuts unless freshly cracked and no peanuts, chillies or any strong spice. I was advised to avoid inorganic or processed foods and reduce my consumption of starch and carbohydrates like potatoes, rice and even carrots.


Additional measures, and expense include a purge of chemical products, including soap powders, chlorinated water, deodorants and a switch to natural, organic alternatives since chemical toxins are absorbed through skin and strain the liver which plays a major role in dealing with candida. Since mould can add to a candida problem I even read that my house plants should get the heave ho.


After coming to terms with the no wine, no chocolate, no bloody fun at all diet I had the financial burden of costly, essential, supplements . I'm five weeks in, have adhered strictly to the rules and feel awful. As the candida die off they become toxic and until I flush them out they will poison me. This period of hell is a good thing Heather reassures me, it means the diet is working. I am not convinced, I think my body is crying out for some antioxidants. The chocolate deprivation isn't as bad as I anticipated, its the urges to binge on tomatoes and satsumas which I find disturbing. I experienced the same cravings during both my pregnancies. No chance I'm pregnant though, not with the foul mood, bad breath and flatulence this diet has produced! Anyway I feel a little relieved now, this blog has been a good exercise. I'll try to consider the reader more next time.